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coldsongUnder the walls we gnaw like mice
Virtue is unmasked
The hands of the clock betray your vice
They give what none has asked.
For they have burrowed beneath the graves
and found what the good gave most:
Refuse cast by the righteous waves
In fossil, wraith, and ghost.
V. Watkins, Ballad of the Mari Lwyd
Does the Nexus remember the Mari Lwyd, or the four giggling children that led her through the streets last year? This year, she is decked out in even more fantastic ribbons, skull painted with colors and glitter, with a mane of braided greenery over the shroud that hides her puppeteer. Peeping out from the tangles of plaited evergreen are bright loops and shimmering clusters of ice crystals--frost flowers, but enchanted to hold together in a way that this phenomenon never does in its natural state. All in all, the Mari is more grand and glamorous than before; a higher bar is set.
The children, like their horse, are in bright colors and jangling bells, and the girls have multicolored ribbons in their hair. They know exactly what they are doing, after the playful run last season. They sing loudly at the door of each house they approach, demanding to be let in and fed in the name of the Horse of a Thousand Stars. Loki is nowhere to be seen, but surely someone is beneath that colorful shroud, making the head bow, the glass eyes roll, the skeletal jaws snap and dart at any who stray too close.
(It would be rude to peep beneath the cloth, but if you do, you will see nothing but shadow, and hear the echoing laughter of a god.)
Those who are kind enough to let the children in will get chased about in their own homes--in play, of course--and the horse will caper and threaten as before, until Agnarr or Sigrid takes the ribbon bridle in hand and guides her back into the snow. Behind them, the children will leave oranges, apples, nuts, or sprigs of evergreen tied with glittery cords and bows.
Locked-out lepers with haloes come.
Put out the clock; the clock is dumb.
This is, in a way, just a prelude, a warning. A loving parody of the chaos that will ride in the dark nights to come. The Mari is not a tradition of Asgard, but Loki understand the message and the story she tells on a level so deep they may as well be part of his bones. For this one moment in the year, the outcast emerge to claim their own. The lords of misrule oust the righteous, the safe, the comfortable, and take their place for a breath of time. Memento Mori.
In the evening, the children are all bathed and fed and cuddled. Stories are told by the fire as dusk deepens. At length, though, the time for Something Else draws nigh. Loki tucks a sprig of mistletoe behind the ear of each of his little girls, and takes them by the hands. Una is old enough this year.
Transforming as they leave the house for the meadow, Loki stands ghostly-still in a white dress, evergreens wound into her hair. For about half an hour, she sings short kulning calls and cries for the girls, letting them imitate and praising their efforts. Sigrid is very good. Una is excited and eager, but her attention span is more limited, and when she shows signs of wanting to go play in the snow, Loki calls the lesson closed for today. She herself sings the ghostly call that invites the Hunt to her side. And then she kisses the girls on the cheek and sends them inside to sleep.
This is about to be no place for children.
As before, Loki cannot allow herself emotion for this event, in which anyone caught outside is at risk of an unfortunate experience. She casts the same spell as before, with some regret. She will recognize no one except Thor, and whatever actions she takes for the sacredness of the season will be utterly impartial.
When the Odensjakt emerges, there's a crack and roar of air displaced, the skies split to permit thousands of shadowy steeds and riders to emerge. Skurge is at their head, and Loki notes with interest that he's not wearing his plate armor this year, only his leather jerkin and a loose cape. Maybe he no longer feels the need of that visual reminder of his status. He's not an ex-soldier or a failed executioner now, but the shepherd of the dead.
"Will you lead this year?" Loki invites him, leaping lightly onto the back of a spectral, red-eyed horse. "Or shall I?"
He looks deeply flattered, and maybe a little tempted, but he shakes his head. "You lead. I'll bring up the rear and keep the formation together."
It would do no good to say so, but Loki is proud.
Skurge takes his place at the back of the Hunt, and gives a sharp, shrill whistle. Then the onslaught begins, the loud chaotic ride through the darkness. They will enter unguarded buildings and turn things upside down like vandals. They will damage and break things left outside in the roads. Unlucky wanderers (or perhaps, some who seek them out deliberately) will be grabbed by icy hands and tumbled through the night with the wild ride.
They circle the Plaza, turning things upside down, and then they ride out into the Wilds like a storm, screaming into the wind from the sheer joy and adrenaline rush of the Hunt.
When the sky turns watery gray overhead, when the sun creeps toward the horizon, they quiet slowly and break apart like clouds. Skurge stays to the last, sitting up on his horse as Loki stands in the snow beside him, Jotun-shaped, all blue and red and white frost.
"I don't think this is exactly how Odin did it," Loki comments quietly as the sun glints off distant tree-tips. "But it feels right. What do you think?"
"Didn't really know him," Skurge says thoughtfully. "But I'm good with this."
"Until tomorrow night, then," Loki smiles up at him.
"Wouldn't miss it," Skurge gives a cheeky grin, and dissolves into the air, back to Hel.
Loki bows, and sings him a brief farewell, only a few high, crystalline calls. And then he turns toward home, and family, and the warmth of his own hearth.
----
((OOC: So, I am bad at keeping up with things, but this is important, so: same deal as last year.
Please feel free to tag in with your character(s) reaction to any of the above. They can encounter the children, they could hear the sounds of the Hunt, or for a more lol-like experience, they could join or be caught up in the Hunt themselves.
Two things should be noted. First: Loki will not recognize any character except Thor, potentially not even his own alternates. He did that on purpose so his fondness for certain individuals cannot get in the way of what he considers a sacred duty. If you get close to the Hunt, even if you’re on good terms with him and don’t wanna go, you’re coming along. Feel free to yell at him later. He may or may not be remorseful, but probably not.
Second: People who either join the Hunt voluntarily or gain control after being snatched up are essentially invited to participate. Feel free to smash some stuff up, steal food or drink in small amounts, etc. Please assume all vandalized stuff belongs to NPCs not other player characters, unless you have that player's permission! The Hunt’s purpose is not to kill or maim, but to frighten and disrupt. Anyone who gets too personal or otherwise overly enthusiastic risks falling out of synch with the rest of the Hunt. If that happens, the character may be yeeted out of the group and find themselves in a corner of the Plaza or Wilds they didn’t start out in.
For each tag-in, I will respond with at least one prose-heavy tag (maybe more, depending on time or inspiration) detailing what the character is likely to have seen, felt, or experienced in the Hunt or during the visit with the hooden horse. It is also okay with me to handwave that your character observed/got caught up in this, as long as rules of the Nexus comm are respected.
Additionally, if you want some crazy shit that is not Nexus canon, PM me and we can talk it out. I can't promise anything because I'm constantly behind on all my threads these days, but I'm willing to talk it over!))
Virtue is unmasked
The hands of the clock betray your vice
They give what none has asked.
For they have burrowed beneath the graves
and found what the good gave most:
Refuse cast by the righteous waves
In fossil, wraith, and ghost.
V. Watkins, Ballad of the Mari Lwyd
Does the Nexus remember the Mari Lwyd, or the four giggling children that led her through the streets last year? This year, she is decked out in even more fantastic ribbons, skull painted with colors and glitter, with a mane of braided greenery over the shroud that hides her puppeteer. Peeping out from the tangles of plaited evergreen are bright loops and shimmering clusters of ice crystals--frost flowers, but enchanted to hold together in a way that this phenomenon never does in its natural state. All in all, the Mari is more grand and glamorous than before; a higher bar is set.
The children, like their horse, are in bright colors and jangling bells, and the girls have multicolored ribbons in their hair. They know exactly what they are doing, after the playful run last season. They sing loudly at the door of each house they approach, demanding to be let in and fed in the name of the Horse of a Thousand Stars. Loki is nowhere to be seen, but surely someone is beneath that colorful shroud, making the head bow, the glass eyes roll, the skeletal jaws snap and dart at any who stray too close.
(It would be rude to peep beneath the cloth, but if you do, you will see nothing but shadow, and hear the echoing laughter of a god.)
Those who are kind enough to let the children in will get chased about in their own homes--in play, of course--and the horse will caper and threaten as before, until Agnarr or Sigrid takes the ribbon bridle in hand and guides her back into the snow. Behind them, the children will leave oranges, apples, nuts, or sprigs of evergreen tied with glittery cords and bows.
Locked-out lepers with haloes come.
Put out the clock; the clock is dumb.
This is, in a way, just a prelude, a warning. A loving parody of the chaos that will ride in the dark nights to come. The Mari is not a tradition of Asgard, but Loki understand the message and the story she tells on a level so deep they may as well be part of his bones. For this one moment in the year, the outcast emerge to claim their own. The lords of misrule oust the righteous, the safe, the comfortable, and take their place for a breath of time. Memento Mori.
In the evening, the children are all bathed and fed and cuddled. Stories are told by the fire as dusk deepens. At length, though, the time for Something Else draws nigh. Loki tucks a sprig of mistletoe behind the ear of each of his little girls, and takes them by the hands. Una is old enough this year.
Transforming as they leave the house for the meadow, Loki stands ghostly-still in a white dress, evergreens wound into her hair. For about half an hour, she sings short kulning calls and cries for the girls, letting them imitate and praising their efforts. Sigrid is very good. Una is excited and eager, but her attention span is more limited, and when she shows signs of wanting to go play in the snow, Loki calls the lesson closed for today. She herself sings the ghostly call that invites the Hunt to her side. And then she kisses the girls on the cheek and sends them inside to sleep.
This is about to be no place for children.
As before, Loki cannot allow herself emotion for this event, in which anyone caught outside is at risk of an unfortunate experience. She casts the same spell as before, with some regret. She will recognize no one except Thor, and whatever actions she takes for the sacredness of the season will be utterly impartial.
When the Odensjakt emerges, there's a crack and roar of air displaced, the skies split to permit thousands of shadowy steeds and riders to emerge. Skurge is at their head, and Loki notes with interest that he's not wearing his plate armor this year, only his leather jerkin and a loose cape. Maybe he no longer feels the need of that visual reminder of his status. He's not an ex-soldier or a failed executioner now, but the shepherd of the dead.
"Will you lead this year?" Loki invites him, leaping lightly onto the back of a spectral, red-eyed horse. "Or shall I?"
He looks deeply flattered, and maybe a little tempted, but he shakes his head. "You lead. I'll bring up the rear and keep the formation together."
It would do no good to say so, but Loki is proud.
Skurge takes his place at the back of the Hunt, and gives a sharp, shrill whistle. Then the onslaught begins, the loud chaotic ride through the darkness. They will enter unguarded buildings and turn things upside down like vandals. They will damage and break things left outside in the roads. Unlucky wanderers (or perhaps, some who seek them out deliberately) will be grabbed by icy hands and tumbled through the night with the wild ride.
They circle the Plaza, turning things upside down, and then they ride out into the Wilds like a storm, screaming into the wind from the sheer joy and adrenaline rush of the Hunt.
When the sky turns watery gray overhead, when the sun creeps toward the horizon, they quiet slowly and break apart like clouds. Skurge stays to the last, sitting up on his horse as Loki stands in the snow beside him, Jotun-shaped, all blue and red and white frost.
"I don't think this is exactly how Odin did it," Loki comments quietly as the sun glints off distant tree-tips. "But it feels right. What do you think?"
"Didn't really know him," Skurge says thoughtfully. "But I'm good with this."
"Until tomorrow night, then," Loki smiles up at him.
"Wouldn't miss it," Skurge gives a cheeky grin, and dissolves into the air, back to Hel.
Loki bows, and sings him a brief farewell, only a few high, crystalline calls. And then he turns toward home, and family, and the warmth of his own hearth.
----
((OOC: So, I am bad at keeping up with things, but this is important, so: same deal as last year.
Please feel free to tag in with your character(s) reaction to any of the above. They can encounter the children, they could hear the sounds of the Hunt, or for a more lol-like experience, they could join or be caught up in the Hunt themselves.
Two things should be noted. First: Loki will not recognize any character except Thor, potentially not even his own alternates. He did that on purpose so his fondness for certain individuals cannot get in the way of what he considers a sacred duty. If you get close to the Hunt, even if you’re on good terms with him and don’t wanna go, you’re coming along. Feel free to yell at him later. He may or may not be remorseful, but probably not.
Second: People who either join the Hunt voluntarily or gain control after being snatched up are essentially invited to participate. Feel free to smash some stuff up, steal food or drink in small amounts, etc. Please assume all vandalized stuff belongs to NPCs not other player characters, unless you have that player's permission! The Hunt’s purpose is not to kill or maim, but to frighten and disrupt. Anyone who gets too personal or otherwise overly enthusiastic risks falling out of synch with the rest of the Hunt. If that happens, the character may be yeeted out of the group and find themselves in a corner of the Plaza or Wilds they didn’t start out in.
For each tag-in, I will respond with at least one prose-heavy tag (maybe more, depending on time or inspiration) detailing what the character is likely to have seen, felt, or experienced in the Hunt or during the visit with the hooden horse. It is also okay with me to handwave that your character observed/got caught up in this, as long as rules of the Nexus comm are respected.
Additionally, if you want some crazy shit that is not Nexus canon, PM me and we can talk it out. I can't promise anything because I'm constantly behind on all my threads these days, but I'm willing to talk it over!))
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:06 am (UTC)Harley takes a long breath. Megatron is obviously deeply enmeshed with Loki. And she is trying her best not to feel like he is being judgemental about the way she lives her life, and develops her relationships.
"I will say it again. I respect your bond with Loki."
"You do not have to be gracious to me. At all."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:26 am (UTC)Harley has made sure that there was enough distance from the door, so that their conversation would not have upset the kids.
"It was unsettling to hear that you were able to sense me. Perhaps the way you meant was not clear when you said it. If you do not plan to do that again... that is fine with me."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:59 am (UTC)Megatron sighs.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 01:11 am (UTC)"You have nothing to worry about Megatron. I respect your relationship with Loki." Harley notes softly. "Besides, from what I understand... from what Loki told me... the bond between you and him is a strong one. One that would be disastrous if someone was to try to separate you two."
"I could not hurt him that way."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 02:16 am (UTC)He shrugs."I'm practical, and I don't need a personal bond with you to know that we need to be on the same side--which is his, and theirs. Because that would be best for us all."
Then he looks away. "I am afraid of being judged by you, too, you know. I believe that you respect me. But we made a commitment that is very deep while running on instinct. Most lovers would be annoyed by the inconvenience. To separate us would be very hurtful to both of us. I know you are not that cruel...but I wouldn't blame you if you were annoyed, and I wanted you to know that."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 10:27 pm (UTC)This is his fault for dragging his feet and then putting them on the spot like this, with the children in the next room. He, with his outside perspective and closeness to them both, can understand each point of view, but if he tries to play conflict mediator, he's certain he'll only muck things up further.
He takes a breath, then emerges from the Mari and leans the puppet against the wall. "This...was not the ideal venue for this meeting. I am...truly sorry. I should have arranged something quieter, without the backdrop of the children and seasonal duty."
"Megatron, elskan, you're intense and effusive, and you wish to throw all of yourself into this, and I love that. But Harley, as warm-hearted as she is, needs space and patience. I feel I have erred in giving her too much of that, but too little of it is certainly just as bad."
"You may yet become friends or allies, and I will do everything I can to assist with that, within the boundaries you both choose to set, for myself and for one another. But it doesn't have to happen tonight, or ever, and if it does not, I will love the both of you no less. Nor will the children, I am certain, though they are still getting to know Megatron and Harley has been part of their lives since they arrived in the Nexus."
"I don't think anyone is truly angry with anyone right now. We have misunderstandings and ruffled feathers, and I am far better at obfuscating these things than helping to clarify them, and so it's best that I stop talking as soon as possible. But perhaps if we all focus on the children, and meaning of the celebration, common ground will emerge. And if not, we'll at least have fun scaring people together."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 11:02 pm (UTC)It does not help her emotional state to be reminded that right now they are not the ideal venue. And the last thing she wants to do is upset the children.
And it is frustrating to feel that she can not express herself further...
"I am going to need a moment before I go inside to see the children." She refuses to fake a smile in front of the children.
"Go ahead. I am sure they are waiting to see you." She tells Megatron.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 11:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 01:02 am (UTC)No, that would not have been a good idea. In any case, he's either overthinking now or reaping the rather bitter, salty fruit of having done this too recklessly.
"Do you want me to go and give you space as well, Kjaereste," he asks Harley softly. "Or do you want to talk to me?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 01:31 am (UTC)She steps forward to take his hands in her hers. And tilts her head.
"I might be reading this all wrong. But I feel like he expected me to react differently. Like I hated him. Or something. It feels weird."
"It put me on edge. Like something was expected of me."
"I don't know what else I can do or say right now. It is like no one believes me... when I have said that I respect the relationship between you two."
"Why can't I just be respectful of the bond that you two share -- and just want to take my time to get to know him. And build something. I got nothing to go off here." Harley takes a sharp breath. "I know I make friends pretty easy... but you have to admit this is a really weird encounter even for me. And it is like I am being expected to build something out of nothing."
Harley tears up. "I am never going to have a strong intense kind of bond that he has with you. I am just human. I can't do that."
"And because to me, that sort of bond must be something powerful and special... it sucks, because I have this..." She pauses, looking for the right words. "Insecurity in my head, telling me that I ain't ever going to be enough. And I am trying really hard to not listen to it."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 04:50 pm (UTC)At the same time, he's immensely grateful she's willing to talk to him now. That gives him a chance. When she takes his hands, he bends his head to kiss the backs of her fingers lightly, once for the left and once for the right.
"I believe he's afraid," he explains. "He had a prior polyamorous relationship that went badly...of the three others, one turned on his entire organization, and the second has at one point ordered the third to kill him. I think he was trying to...prompt a more detailed discussion of your feelings. In part because he's afraid of a repeat of his past mistakes and in part because it's evidently their culture to express their emotions fully when they arise."
"So, he is frustrated and afraid of what you might not be saying. I will talk to him, as well. He's a different kind of life form--they say 'synthetic' but I'm not sure how apt that is--and I think he processes events and emotions more quickly than you or I. I'll explain to him that you need space and time and freedom, as I have for my own sake. Granted, I haven't been great at setting my boundaries with him, so perhaps that's going to be a lengthy discussion, but--nevermind. That isn't your problem. You are not required to like the people I like just because I like them. If you're willing to take time and give him a chance, that's more than reasonable."
And this sounds good to him, as far as conversation goes. Maybe he can smooth things over still...it was still a mistake on his part but salvageable with time--
And then she tears up and his heart goes crashing down to his toes. There is nothing in the world worse, he thinks, than making a lover cry (in a bad way). Except perhaps making a child cry. He reaches out and pulls her closer reflexively in as tight a hug as he's ever given her (so much for his musings about her needing space, but he's also shit at guessing what she actually needs, apparently, so maybe this is okay?).
"Oh, my love...oh, Kjaereste. Never think of yourself as just human. My dearest friends in the past centuries have been human. Their names are written on my heart, but yours is etched right into my soul. Everything I have built of comfort and kindness in this place--none of it would have come about if not for your welcome, and the example you set me. I don't think I would even be so close to Thor at this point if you hadn't lit the way for me to try. I certainly would not be able to love Megatron, or Ian, or the children the way I do."
"You are my inspiration, Harley. The muse that makes me want to take my darkness and spin it into light, the way you take your hurts and madness and hammer them into a sword and shield to protect and avenge those like you. You are everything I want to be, as a person and as a god, to defend and care for those who have no one else to care for them."
"You are more than enough. I know a lie, and that voice in your head is lying. I belong to you, and with you, and I love you."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 05:18 pm (UTC)"Maybe it is because I have been blessed to have had such a supportive polyamourous relationship with Red. That I am able to feel the way I do. To support you both."
"Knowing that he has been hurt before... makes me understand why he seems to not believe me. And I guess I just need to give him time too... huh. To understand that I am not lying to him."
"I appreciate you saying that I am not required to like him. I really do." It helps her settle her mind. Loki is not Joker. Loki is not asking her to pretend and be some sort of plaything that smiles fake-like and likes all the people that he likes. Loki only wants Harley to be real to herself.
And when he hugs her, Harley leans her head on his forehead. And hugs him tightly. It is true that she has not been good with telling him what she needs. And she is slowly trying to be better at communicating.
"I just missed you so much. I don't need space from you right now. I just want to be by your side. And the fact that someday... because I am human... I will have to leave you makes me want to make the most of what we have. In the now."
"I am honored to be your inspiration. It helps... to know that you see me that way." Harley kisses his temple lightly.
"I have to stop thinking selfish thoughts... about wanting others to see me in the same light. It shouldn't matter what anyone one else thinks or says."
"You consider me more than enough." Harley relaxes slightly in his arms. "And I belong to you. You are more than enough for me. That is why I feel like I don't want to be with anyone else."
"You are my real true love, Loki. I will never feel the way I do for anyone else. Only you have this place in my heart. Only you do I feel safe and secure in saying I love you. Only you do I know is my future."
"It is because of you... I know when that voice is lying to me. When it is trying to bring me down. Or break me."
"I would not be the woman I am without you in my life. I would have never broken free of Joker. I would have never started to attend the Sisterhood Survivor Group. And I would have never.... stopped to think out my actions, before resorting to violence."
"I am just afraid of losing you. When you have carved so much of yourself into my heart and soul. I couldn't bear it."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 08:55 pm (UTC)"It would be less stressful for me if you two can be on civil terms," he says wryly. "But beyond that, the choice is yours and his. I genuinely did think you'd like him, and vice versa, but I'm not infallible."
He shivers. "I admit, I don't like the thought that our time together is limited. It's a blessing that you're so strong, and I dare to hope you will age more slowly than the average human. I will love you no less as you grow older, by the way."
But he expects that to be a point of contention if she does age like a human. It's only normal to observe changes in yourself and none in your lover and feel disconnected. But they will cross that bridge when they come to it. "For a long time," he says, "I have been thinking of you as a constant in my life, a partner that will be with me for decades to come. It's an inexpressible honor for a mortal lover to pledge their lifetime to an immortal one--or one as long-lived as the Aesir tend to be. We could be giving one another the same number of years, but for you it would be everything. I do not take that lightly. I never have, but with you I have the chance to be with you for all those years. It's a momentous thing."
He realizes he's rambling a little and quiets to listen to her. He has to clear his throat and scrub away some mist over his eyes with one sleeve. "It's hard for me to see myself as a good influence in someone's life, but I believe you. And I'm grateful."
He nuzzles and kisses her cheek and takes a breath, tilting his head so he can look into her eyes. "Hellequin...you will never lose me. We've been dancing around committment, I think. Myself more than you, perhaps, but we're both a bit gun-shy. I tell myself my reasoning is unselfish but I'm also afraid of hurt. Courage is not my forte."
"You remember our talks about making you into a true Valkyrie? I hesitated, the more I thought about it, because the way I conceived of it at first would mean writing myself, my power and divinity, into you, body and soul, in a way that Odin did not do with his Valkyrior, since they were Aesir from the start. And that feels like too close a parallel for what the...for what has been done to you in the past." In an emotionally volatile state already, it's best he doesn't reference the Joker out loud.
"But of late I've offered to teach magic to others, human and not. Ben Solo, for example, would be able to make use of runes. And the children are learning, as well. I am wondering if...there is a better way. Pouring my power into you as if you were an empty vessel can't be right. You're not empty; you're full, and I need you to be you, with complete freedom and no restraints on your decisions."
"I don't think I can duplicate the spark-bond, because for one thing I don't fully understand it myself, but I do understand magic. I am certain I can create an amulet to let you draw on my power at will, and with practice, maybe more than that. I can walk in human dreams and human minds; I can let you into my mind, as well."
"We would have to build our own bridges to join together so closely, and with great care. But I think it's possible, if you want it. A-and you don't have to decide on that now. Just keep it in mind. Either way, you are my Kjaereste, forever."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 11:54 pm (UTC)"And you are right. If our meeting was held on different terms it could have gone differently. Right off the bat I was given the impression that I had to act a certain way. And you know why that set me off."
"I don't want to play pretend anymore. Not around you. Not around the kids."
Harley hums at the back of her throat. "With the Joker Toxin and Red's Serum, I might age differently than other humans. But it is nice to hear that you will love me no matter what, even if I start to age. You might have to remind me."
She nuzzles him. "Again and again and again."
"The one strong commitment I have made... was to Red. And she never betrayed that trust. And right now -- I do feel the same way about you. That I could commit to you on a different level, and not be afraid that you would hurt me."
"We both have been afraid of getting hurt, Princess. And I think... I believe in my heart... that after everything that we have dealt with, that we can trust in the other." Harley strokes his hair lightly, her fingers playing with the white blonde lock of her hair woven among his locks.
"I am a little hesitant about having magic poured into me too. I have seen how that kind of power corrupts. And you know that I am very uneasy with people in my head... more because I don't trust the Joker Toxin to warp their mind, and change me into something... dark."
"I really don't need a duplication of the spark bond, to be committed to you. I am already there."
"Do I really need to have that magical power inside of me to be considered a true Valkyrie? Wouldn't it hurt you... for me to draw on your power?"
"There is so much to magic I don't know. It ain't my forte."
"The bottom line is... it is yours. And I trust you to know what is best."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-02 01:59 pm (UTC)"Can I be honest a moment?" When he asks that, he's not asking her so much as himself, really. He is the god of lies. "I've never in my life been surrounded by so many people that need me, and want me, and care about me. It's wonderful, but I'm starting to realize I have no idea how to act. I think I thought simply being straightforward with all my lovers about what's happening would be enough, but clearly it isn't, quite. It's not just the romantic aspect, either. People aren't supposed to like me. People definitely aren't supposed to trust me. I want them to, but they're not supposed to."
"I'm a bit lost, I think. But I love you and I want to give you the love and support you need."
He leans into her shoulder again and closes his eyes, thinking. This, all of this, is going to be more complicated than he meant for it to be, and that's typical of his ventures, so he can't be upset about it, but realizing how ill-equipped he is for it is a new wrinkle.
"It shouldn't hurt me for you to draw on my power, though, no. I suppose you could deliberately injure me through the link, but I can't imagine you doing that...and I haven't quite got it set up in my mind how to make the link, anyway. It's more me brainstorming right now."
"The Valkyrior were my father's elite guard, pledged to the throne of Asgard. There was some inherent magical power placed into them by Odin, and the sacred nature of their oath gave them still more. I suppose by those standards, we'd have to talk to Thor to make you a "real" Valkyrie, but you don't want to pledge your life to the throne of Asgard and I don't want you to."
"You promised to protect me, and called me Princess. And I suppose that made me sentimental, in a way. It's rare for people to offer to care for me like that. When I call you my Valkyrie, it's not a mere pet name, but what it means to me is that you are...my Champion. And now, my muse."
"Perhaps we have erred thus far in not discussing the details of what it means to us, specifically. Because any world with bird-winged women who snatch the souls of the noble dead from the battlefield will think it's a peculiar stance, what we say. But neither of us does things the expected way. I think we can make our own rules, but we should do it together."
"Let me show you some of my magic, and let me come to your world and work with you sometimes, maybe meet your friends? We can move forward from there, together."
"To bond with me like this...I've never had a divine consort. From what I understand, it's a thing that happens, not a thing that a god sets out to create. A kind of interpersonal resonance. I know Megatron wants that, or thinks he does. It's possible it could happen with either of you, or both, or neither. Possible Ian, as well, though he interacts less with my spiritual nature than you. It worries me, because I'm a complicated divinity and not always a nice one. But I want you at my side badly enough to be selfish, Kjaereste. If you want that, I'm sure it will happen."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-02 10:28 pm (UTC)"She knows how I feel about you. And is happy that I have found a new love."
She strokes his hair when he admits that he doesn't know how to act. And nods slightly. "Sort of can tell that... by the mess we ended up in."
"It is okay to feel lost. I know I do."
Regarding the topic of the Valkyrie, and she nods. "I know that there are people out there who have a very strong opinion of what they think is a true Valkyrie." She briefly thinks of how that topic had made things difficult with Felix, and then Runa. "And I know that because I don't want to have some magical power placed into me... I ain't never going to live up to their definition."
"I mean it when I say that I will be there to protect Thor, and the children, and to guide the fallen of Asgard, and to protect you. But I ain't Asgardian. I don't feel it is appropriate of me to pledge to protect the throne of Asgard. To take that oath when I am not from that land, or culture."
"Maybe there is something else I can be called. Or someway else I can demonstrate my commitment to be an dedicated ally of those of Asgard. And maybe that is something I can ask Thor about."
Harley tilts her head at the mention of a divine consort. And smiles. "No wonder Megatron has expressed interest in that. But it doesn't sound like anything you can just make happen."
"Besides, allow me to be selfish, and just say that whatever we decide between ourselves... I want it just to be between you and me. If possible."
"I accept your complicated nature. I know you ain't always nice. I love every part of you."
"And I do. Want to be at your side. Whatever this means for us... I want us to find the right path to take."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-02 10:57 pm (UTC)"There are a number of strong opinions on what a god should be, as well," Loki says with a nod. "And for a while I thought I ought to conform to some of them, but of late I realized that the people who need me on their side, who fall into my providence, don't necessarily need a god. I think I would rather lose the divine nature altogether and be able to care for my providence than to conform to someone else's idea of what I should be."
If anyone understands that, it's her. He gives her a soft, pensive smile. "I think you're right. I think we should ask Thor. Or rather, you should ask and I should support you, since I'm less skilled than I hoped I was at interpreting what you want."
He gives a sheepish little laugh. "I don't think he's said so in so many words, but the idea is very much there. And I know he wants to live with me and the children sooner or later."
"I always assumed you preferred to have your own place, but if I was wrong--please know that you're invited to move in any time you like. I'm going to need to get some additions put on in the spring regardless, because Agnarr is old enough to need his own room."
He breaks into a bright grin and nods at her request. Whatever they build together can be just for them, without taking away from any other people in their lives. And when he hugs her again, she can probably tell he's tearing up yet again. It's been a long road for them both. "Thank you," he whispers in a voice that trembles none-too-subtly.
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From:Megatron goes in to talk to the kids <3
Date: 2021-02-01 08:10 am (UTC)He is also aware that the position they have put Harley in, however unintentionally, is still rotten; she has the moral right to annoy the slag out of him, no matter how uncomfortable he finds it. For now. He hopes she understands there are limits to his patience, because the person he would like to be is still a better person than the person that he actually is.
Therefore, he sets a reminder for himself to return to the data of dubious quality that he has just been given and think it all over in private, then terminates a number of glitching processes spiralling through his emotional subsystems with extreme prejudice (which in itself provides him with a certain satisfaction).
Once he's able to smile at the children and mean it, he sits down on the floor with them. "I've missed you," he says, and sets the flowers on the table. "And I have presents for you, this time."
Hello, he gestures to Agnarr. How bad am I at this?
He can't get servo memory out of saving old videos to his memory banks, and the first few times he attempted it he actually taught himself to do it backwards, until he realised the mirror he was using was a screen and flipped the image. At the moment, Eindrid's vocabulary is probably still far superior to his, and that's probably very evident.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-05 01:58 pm (UTC)Well...Agnarr and Sigrid do, at least. The younger two are willing to take a smile at face value, especially if it comes with presents! Sigrid gives Megatron a thorough looking-over, as if somehow he might physically give a clue what's going on, but when none appears, she just gives him a reassuring smile and goes back to wrestling with Eindrid's shoes, after a chirped greeting.
Mrs. Hedgeworthy is working on Una's hair, else she'd be climbing up his back the second he sits, but she's restricted to waving in greeting.
Agnarr looks slightly skeptical, but not at the sign language. He watches the attempt and softens, Not bad. You'll have to go slow. But it's more important for you to understand it. I can hear, I just can't talk.
"You didn't have to bring presents!" Sigrid adds, tying off a shoelace. "But we have a thing for you. Una wants to give it to you so you have to wait until her braids are done."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-06 10:22 am (UTC)Megatron wishes that Agnarr and Sigrid hadn't picked up on the disagreement, but it doesn't completely surprise him. The children may not be able to read EM fields, but they have excellent intuition and Loki has done nothing to discourage them to doubt it. He doesn't want to involve them in adult disagreements or problems. But he doesn't like to be dishonest with people he'd like to consider family and friends, even if they are all still sparklings.
"A time may come when the ability to communicate with you all in a manner that people can't overhear will be useful," he tells them, and signs inexpertly, while Eindrid is looking down at the floor and Una is still getting her hair done: It will be all right. Problem with words, not with people.
"I love your father. And I want to be Harley's friend. Just like I want to be your friend. Anyhow. We can exchange gifts when Una's braids are all done."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-07 07:38 pm (UTC)"I painted the stars on her face!" Una says. "And--and! They glow. In. The. Dark!!!"
Okay, that's probably not traditional, but there's no doubt the child meant it as an act of devotion.
Shoes now tied, Eindrid stands up and he and Sigrid wander over to sit by Megatron. "You may have to help carry the bag of nuts and oranges and stuff," Sigrid says. "Ein kept dropping it last year. Anyway, it's better if he has his hands free."
Once the braid is tied off, Una leaps up, almost bowls Mrs. Hedgeworthy over, pauses guiltily to steady her, kiss her on the cheek and thank her, and then she's off down the hall at top speed, returning a moment later with a large-ish box. "We all made the card!" She says, and sets the box at Megatron's feet. "And there's a thing in the card and Ein mostly made that but we helped him put the string on it."
The card appears to be a picture of a white horse on a dark background, with a rainbow under her feet. The 'thing in the card' is a salt dough ornament, a small handprint with blobs of color and glitter decorating it, and red and yellow ribbons threaded through the loop in the top.
"I guess you don't have a tree or a mantle to hang it on," Sigrid says. "But it's pretty. And if you don't have space yet we can hang it in the window for you so you can see it whenever you visit."
The contents of the box remain to be discovered!
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-07 11:19 pm (UTC)Then he opens the card. "Eindrid made this? And you all made the card? I'll hang it next to your drawing," Megatron says, flushing a little. "I may not have a tree, or a mantel. But I have a board over my desk in my room on the Lost Light, which is the spaceship where I work right now. I keep the things that you and your father have given me there. In order to remind me that I have people here in the Nexus to come back to." To come home to, he thinks, but the children may not be ready to hear that yet.
"I have friends on my ship. But there's nobody there I care for as much as I love your father, or my two best friends, who live at the Embassy now. And there are no children there for me to spoil, either. So having those things to look at is very important to me when I miss you all."
He hands each of the children a small package, though it is probably obvious that he has given Agnarr and Sigrid books, and then he opens the box.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-07 11:51 pm (UTC)The confession about how he keeps their gifts over his desk prompts a series of hugs from each in turn. The children are still feeling their way around this giant friend of their papa's, but it's so very very clear to them all that he cares about them, and that he needs hugs and affection. Which is something they have in abundance.
The sentimental atmosphere is shattered after Una hugs him, though, because she's just so excited for him to open the gift she starts jumping up and down and Sigrid gently moves Eindrid away from her so he won't get landed on.
There is a teddy bear in the box. It's a very lovely bear, with long dark brown fur, a friendly face, and bright plastic eyes. The logo on one paw may be inexplicable to Megatron, but Una is happy to explain.
"I said you needed a teddy bear and Loki took us to Build-a-Bear in New York! And we got to pick him out and all his things and he smells like marshmallows because that's the scent we asked for, and he has a heartbeat if you listen to his chest!"
Said 'things' she's referring to appear to be the clothes the bear is wearing, which include a dinosaur hoodie, a sparkly red tutu, white cowboy boots with red hearts on them, and a viking helmet.
Megatron can rest assured the children had a field day putting this together, whether he has any use for a plush toy or not.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-08 12:31 am (UTC)The bear is ... possibly the most ridiculous object he's ever seen, but he also kind of loves it, because he now understands that a teddy bear is not meant to represent an animal; it's meant as a tangible expression of love. It smells pleasant, though he does not know what a marshmallow is, and the clothing does not match at all. He hugs the bear, tentatively, because it is rather small.
"Thank you very much."
It is a sparkling toy, but they are sparklings, and it feels almost as though they're reaching out to a sparkling they think is inside of him. What's most surprising is that perhaps there may be one there, somewhere, just as somehow their father manages to communicate with the person he was before they stuck needles in his neck and killed his first love and then he was beaten for a riot that started over a fragging straw that some other mech entirely had asked for. "Let me guess. Each of you chose part of the outfit? I know the skirt must have been Una's choice. Tell me the rest?" He is grinning, stupidly. Again, a patently ridiculous object, but also something that will instantly recall the children to his memory, which absolutely is its intended function.
Megatron had, with Ravage's assistance--Ravage was, after all, setting up a small library for the embassy--located an English-language book about the Cybertronian species for Agnarr, which hopefully would answer some of his questions that Megatron didn't have the right words to answer himself. The book for Sigrid was intended for a secondary school student on Earth, and contained translations of Cybertronian poetry. He had been astounded to discover that one of his own pieces was in there, as most his poetry was rather adult by human standards; he'd slipped a bookmark in at that page, and signed it for her.
For Una there was a sparkly purple cybercat doll, and for Eindrid a small metal boat that looked and felt like it should be much heavier than it was. "That boat will float, but it can move fast, so be careful if you use it outdoors. And the little cat has a controller; you can make it fold up into a ball to store, but there's a setting where it will sit with you and purr, and another where it will leap around and do tricks. That's a cybercat, but it's a toy, not a real animal, and not a person like a cougaraider or a pneumalion."
He had found these things in the markets of Ran'ithil, and been assured that they were safe even for very small sparklings. However he feels like he may need to apologise to Mrs Hedgeworthy anyway. The cybercat doll is quite tiny, but it's still bigger than an actual house cat, and it can probably jump even higher.
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