If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks...

[coldsong]

It's customary to have a Wake after the subject thereof dies. Even Loki knows that. But this is a special occasion. Ego-death is coming to his alternate, and the idea of letting him go off to perish alone, uncertain he will even be mourned, is too dark a proposition even for a flawed and callous person to contemplate.

That, and this Loki has been in a melancholy mood since speaking to the spirit of Frigga. He anticipates a dark choice of his own, sooner or later, and where the fates will send him after that, he can't know. Maybe oblivion, although even at that rate there may be worse places.

What's important right now is that no one dies unremembered. And honestly, any excuse for mischief a party. The first text rolls out to Harley, an innocent enough invitation to join them for milkshakes. Cricket is next, because it occurs to him that Cricket has plenty of liquor, which is good for a reckless celebration.

Things snowball from there.

As long as they don't destroy too much property, they'll call the night a success.

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[coldsong]

There is some circulation in the cuddle pile, so he may find himself amidst various different friends over the course of the nap, but at the moment, he's right up against Loki's back, on one side. The Trickster makes a small sleepy grunt and tries to turn to look at him, but he's well and truly tangled up in his own damn cloak. Someone on his other side is lying across it and he can't move so much without waking people or tearing the fabric.

Still, he manages to give Thor a hazy look through his lashes, and the curtain of hair that's gotten mussed and is falling half over his face.

"Oh, it's you," he says. "Good."

He gives a long, lazy yawn and lets his head drop back to where it was pillowed on his arm. Eyes closed, he mutters, "It's good you were here. He needed that."

[pirateangelbaby]

Of course Loki would be at his side. It's where he's supposed to be, and Thor's missed him there. The sons of Odin, together again, sleeping off yet another night of questionable decisions. Just like old times.

Thor drapes an arm over Loki, clumsily patting for his arm, before the words actually soak in and he blinks blearily at his brother. He? The gears turn until they grind their way to a conclusion. "You mean Loki?" Not this one, the other one. Obviously.

[coldsong]

Careful, Thor. If you start thinking things like that, sooner or later you'll say them, and if you say them Loki will take you up on them. He's content with the equilibrium they've reached. The brotherly banter, the way they're both holding one another at arm's length, able to laugh together but not quite ready to trust.

It's all right. Maybe for the best. He is not built to be trustworthy, and Thor deserves someone trustworthy at his side. Still, the idea of 'like old times' is compelling. Some part of him would love to be Thor's little brother again. But even if it's too late for that, they've got a quiet moment here, and when Thor gives him that lazy half-hug, Loki's eyes blink open in pleasant surprise.

Oh. Well. All right, then.

It's a shame to have to vocalize bad news under these peaceable circumstances. "Yes," he says. "Him. He did not wish to say, but this is meant to be an early wake. He has something to face at home and does not expect to come back from it."

"And he's been estranged from his Thor. Your kindness means much to him, I think."

[pirateangelbaby]

Thor's hope springs eternal, and he's feeling even more nostalgic than usual, aided by truly excessive amounts of alcohol. The warm glow is cut down a bit, though, once he understands what Loki is saying to him.

The other Loki has told him a little of his family conflict, of Mother's betrayal and the other Thor's violent distrust. It saddens him that even in another universe, the house of Odin would find themselves at odds with each other. Why can't things just be as they were, when no one was trying to kill anyone, and Loki was a contented prince of Asgard? (Whether Loki ever actually was such, Thor refuses to contemplate. He must have been at some point, right?)

Maybe it's a good thing he hadn't known before, what this party was meant to be. Had he known, would he have been able to enjoy the gathering quite so much, with that shadow hanging over their heads?

"He's suffered much." So has this Loki, but they don't speak of that, not in so many words. Nor is this about them, this time. Especially not now that Thor knows the true purpose of this gathering. "This was your idea?"

[coldsong]

Was he contended? Loki isn't sure. These things are relative, perhaps. Satisfaction is not in his nature, or so he claims, so he may be doomed to a certain restlessness, some small fierce jealousies, but in another time and place these might have been surmountable problems. He loved his family, trusted them once. Loved Asgard once, lost that love, and found it again.

He counts himself somewhat luckier than the other Loki, in any case.

He leans back into Thor's touch a little, not quite the snuggly puppy, but drawing some kind of reassurance from the closeness. "He has. And blames himself for it. Whether that is just or no, I cannot say, although I tend to think...probably not. Not completely."

He nods groggily and gives Thor another languid smile, this own with a touch of sadness to it. "He feared none would mourn him. Now, many will, and remember this night."

[pirateangelbaby]

Snuggly puppy or not, Thor leans into him right back, not sure if he's giving or taking comfort, and maybe it's both. He's lost his own brother too many times already, and he doesn't care that this Loki is not technically his, nor the other trickster who believes his life is measured in mere days, at most.

Did you mourn, his brother had asked him once, sneering as though he expected that no one would have. As though he thought Thor would cast aside centuries of brotherhood in an instant without a second thought.

He'd made his answer clear then, even if Loki hadn't listened at the time.

Will he mourn this other Loki, even knowing him so little? Of course. And this one knows that, too. This time, he may even have a great deal more company in it, for a Loki who deserves to be remembered well.

It's no small thing, but it doesn't feel like enough. It's never enough. "There's nothing more we can do to help him?" he asks, hoping against hope that Loki will have thought of something, some clever trick to help his twin avoid this fate altogether. Knowing all the same that even Loki's luck will eventually run dry.

[coldsong]

"He is more tied to his nature than you or I," Loki says softly. "A true mythoform, not the hybrid of mortal and deity we seem to be."

Granted, he's still picking apart that mystery and may yet find himself and Thor to be as bound to legend as their alternates. For the moment, though, there seems to be a difference. "That which he faces is not only a physical death, but a loss of self. A psychic death. He will become something new, or cease to exist utterly."

He puts one of his hands over Thor's arm that's around him, fighting through the edge of his own cloak to do so. Yep. Still feels like a tree trunk.

"And the something new, he fears, is that evil future self he has fought so hard to escape from becoming. I do not think he will take that option. I think he would prefer to accept a noble oblivion. I would. Out of spite, if nothing else."

"But he is Loki. There is always a chance he will find a third choice." His voice is soft. "I hope he will. But I can see none. I'm not god enough for that yet."

Yet? Hmm.

[pirateangelbaby]

If Thor wasn't quite so hungover, he might have more questions. More protests. Giving voice to how unjust this is, after everything that Loki has been through, that he should end like this. It's not fair. When has it ever been?

And yet, how very like Loki to spend his assumed final day in merriment, as if he had not a care in the world, knowing full well he's going to the wolves alone after.

Thor's vision blurs, and it might not be the alcohol to blame. "I'll miss him."

[coldsong]

Loki closes his eyes, as if to mask whatever might be going on behind them. His hand grips tighter at Thor's forearm, squeezing, then releasing.

He will say nothing, of course, but he can't lie to himself; he does feel a pang of jealousy, and a deep, yawning loneliness. He can't blame Thor, though. The other Loki is personable and charming and capable of such warmth...he has no idea how likable, how lovable, he really is.

History probably makes a difference. There may be things he has done in his own world that would be harder to look past, had they lived through them, but right now, with what they do know, it's natural both he and Thor should grow attached quickly, and regret the loss bitterly.

He draws in a breath that's just a touch ragged around the edges, to match Thor's blurry vision. And he pats his arm. "Then tell him so. Go. Give him that strength to fight with."

[pirateangelbaby]

If this Loki thinks that Thor would not miss him too, he's gravely mistaken. But, of course, he has no talent for mind magic, and knows not where his brother's thoughts have gone, assuming them to be fear for his double, sadness and grief at the loss he seems to think is inevitable.

Thor knows what it's like to lose family and not get to say his goodbyes. He'd hastened to say them on Svartelfheim, and no matter how Loki mocked his words with theater after, he doesn't regret saying any of it. He would have Loki - any Loki - know that he is loved, before the end. Whether he believes it or not.

He clumsily pats at Loki's arm in thanks, and stumbles his way out of the pile of slumbering revelers in search of the guest of honor.

[coldsong]

Was it mockery, or merely a reminder? They should talk about that more deeply some time, when they're not so drunk. Loki has a tendency to make light of the things that cut him the most deeply, with only a few exceptions. Maybe, with Thor himself absent by necessity, he just wanted that reminder for himself, to pick at old wounds at the same time as they attempted to heal.

Loki is complex and contrary and his own worst enemy.

But he will not be his alternate's worst enemy; on that he is already decided, and he looks up as Thor leaves to find him, with a small, soft smile of approval. He has time for reconciliation. The other Loki may not.