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coldsongUnder the walls we gnaw like mice
Virtue is unmasked
The hands of the clock betray your vice
They give what none has asked.
For they have burrowed beneath the graves
and found what the good gave most:
Refuse cast by the righteous waves
In fossil, wraith, and ghost.
V. Watkins, Ballad of the Mari Lwyd
Does the Nexus remember the Mari Lwyd, or the four giggling children that led her through the streets last year? This year, she is decked out in even more fantastic ribbons, skull painted with colors and glitter, with a mane of braided greenery over the shroud that hides her puppeteer. Peeping out from the tangles of plaited evergreen are bright loops and shimmering clusters of ice crystals--frost flowers, but enchanted to hold together in a way that this phenomenon never does in its natural state. All in all, the Mari is more grand and glamorous than before; a higher bar is set.
The children, like their horse, are in bright colors and jangling bells, and the girls have multicolored ribbons in their hair. They know exactly what they are doing, after the playful run last season. They sing loudly at the door of each house they approach, demanding to be let in and fed in the name of the Horse of a Thousand Stars. Loki is nowhere to be seen, but surely someone is beneath that colorful shroud, making the head bow, the glass eyes roll, the skeletal jaws snap and dart at any who stray too close.
(It would be rude to peep beneath the cloth, but if you do, you will see nothing but shadow, and hear the echoing laughter of a god.)
Those who are kind enough to let the children in will get chased about in their own homes--in play, of course--and the horse will caper and threaten as before, until Agnarr or Sigrid takes the ribbon bridle in hand and guides her back into the snow. Behind them, the children will leave oranges, apples, nuts, or sprigs of evergreen tied with glittery cords and bows.
Locked-out lepers with haloes come.
Put out the clock; the clock is dumb.
This is, in a way, just a prelude, a warning. A loving parody of the chaos that will ride in the dark nights to come. The Mari is not a tradition of Asgard, but Loki understand the message and the story she tells on a level so deep they may as well be part of his bones. For this one moment in the year, the outcast emerge to claim their own. The lords of misrule oust the righteous, the safe, the comfortable, and take their place for a breath of time. Memento Mori.
In the evening, the children are all bathed and fed and cuddled. Stories are told by the fire as dusk deepens. At length, though, the time for Something Else draws nigh. Loki tucks a sprig of mistletoe behind the ear of each of his little girls, and takes them by the hands. Una is old enough this year.
Transforming as they leave the house for the meadow, Loki stands ghostly-still in a white dress, evergreens wound into her hair. For about half an hour, she sings short kulning calls and cries for the girls, letting them imitate and praising their efforts. Sigrid is very good. Una is excited and eager, but her attention span is more limited, and when she shows signs of wanting to go play in the snow, Loki calls the lesson closed for today. She herself sings the ghostly call that invites the Hunt to her side. And then she kisses the girls on the cheek and sends them inside to sleep.
This is about to be no place for children.
As before, Loki cannot allow herself emotion for this event, in which anyone caught outside is at risk of an unfortunate experience. She casts the same spell as before, with some regret. She will recognize no one except Thor, and whatever actions she takes for the sacredness of the season will be utterly impartial.
When the Odensjakt emerges, there's a crack and roar of air displaced, the skies split to permit thousands of shadowy steeds and riders to emerge. Skurge is at their head, and Loki notes with interest that he's not wearing his plate armor this year, only his leather jerkin and a loose cape. Maybe he no longer feels the need of that visual reminder of his status. He's not an ex-soldier or a failed executioner now, but the shepherd of the dead.
"Will you lead this year?" Loki invites him, leaping lightly onto the back of a spectral, red-eyed horse. "Or shall I?"
He looks deeply flattered, and maybe a little tempted, but he shakes his head. "You lead. I'll bring up the rear and keep the formation together."
It would do no good to say so, but Loki is proud.
Skurge takes his place at the back of the Hunt, and gives a sharp, shrill whistle. Then the onslaught begins, the loud chaotic ride through the darkness. They will enter unguarded buildings and turn things upside down like vandals. They will damage and break things left outside in the roads. Unlucky wanderers (or perhaps, some who seek them out deliberately) will be grabbed by icy hands and tumbled through the night with the wild ride.
They circle the Plaza, turning things upside down, and then they ride out into the Wilds like a storm, screaming into the wind from the sheer joy and adrenaline rush of the Hunt.
When the sky turns watery gray overhead, when the sun creeps toward the horizon, they quiet slowly and break apart like clouds. Skurge stays to the last, sitting up on his horse as Loki stands in the snow beside him, Jotun-shaped, all blue and red and white frost.
"I don't think this is exactly how Odin did it," Loki comments quietly as the sun glints off distant tree-tips. "But it feels right. What do you think?"
"Didn't really know him," Skurge says thoughtfully. "But I'm good with this."
"Until tomorrow night, then," Loki smiles up at him.
"Wouldn't miss it," Skurge gives a cheeky grin, and dissolves into the air, back to Hel.
Loki bows, and sings him a brief farewell, only a few high, crystalline calls. And then he turns toward home, and family, and the warmth of his own hearth.
----
((OOC: So, I am bad at keeping up with things, but this is important, so: same deal as last year.
Please feel free to tag in with your character(s) reaction to any of the above. They can encounter the children, they could hear the sounds of the Hunt, or for a more lol-like experience, they could join or be caught up in the Hunt themselves.
Two things should be noted. First: Loki will not recognize any character except Thor, potentially not even his own alternates. He did that on purpose so his fondness for certain individuals cannot get in the way of what he considers a sacred duty. If you get close to the Hunt, even if you’re on good terms with him and don’t wanna go, you’re coming along. Feel free to yell at him later. He may or may not be remorseful, but probably not.
Second: People who either join the Hunt voluntarily or gain control after being snatched up are essentially invited to participate. Feel free to smash some stuff up, steal food or drink in small amounts, etc. Please assume all vandalized stuff belongs to NPCs not other player characters, unless you have that player's permission! The Hunt’s purpose is not to kill or maim, but to frighten and disrupt. Anyone who gets too personal or otherwise overly enthusiastic risks falling out of synch with the rest of the Hunt. If that happens, the character may be yeeted out of the group and find themselves in a corner of the Plaza or Wilds they didn’t start out in.
For each tag-in, I will respond with at least one prose-heavy tag (maybe more, depending on time or inspiration) detailing what the character is likely to have seen, felt, or experienced in the Hunt or during the visit with the hooden horse. It is also okay with me to handwave that your character observed/got caught up in this, as long as rules of the Nexus comm are respected.
Additionally, if you want some crazy shit that is not Nexus canon, PM me and we can talk it out. I can't promise anything because I'm constantly behind on all my threads these days, but I'm willing to talk it over!))
Virtue is unmasked
The hands of the clock betray your vice
They give what none has asked.
For they have burrowed beneath the graves
and found what the good gave most:
Refuse cast by the righteous waves
In fossil, wraith, and ghost.
V. Watkins, Ballad of the Mari Lwyd
Does the Nexus remember the Mari Lwyd, or the four giggling children that led her through the streets last year? This year, she is decked out in even more fantastic ribbons, skull painted with colors and glitter, with a mane of braided greenery over the shroud that hides her puppeteer. Peeping out from the tangles of plaited evergreen are bright loops and shimmering clusters of ice crystals--frost flowers, but enchanted to hold together in a way that this phenomenon never does in its natural state. All in all, the Mari is more grand and glamorous than before; a higher bar is set.
The children, like their horse, are in bright colors and jangling bells, and the girls have multicolored ribbons in their hair. They know exactly what they are doing, after the playful run last season. They sing loudly at the door of each house they approach, demanding to be let in and fed in the name of the Horse of a Thousand Stars. Loki is nowhere to be seen, but surely someone is beneath that colorful shroud, making the head bow, the glass eyes roll, the skeletal jaws snap and dart at any who stray too close.
(It would be rude to peep beneath the cloth, but if you do, you will see nothing but shadow, and hear the echoing laughter of a god.)
Those who are kind enough to let the children in will get chased about in their own homes--in play, of course--and the horse will caper and threaten as before, until Agnarr or Sigrid takes the ribbon bridle in hand and guides her back into the snow. Behind them, the children will leave oranges, apples, nuts, or sprigs of evergreen tied with glittery cords and bows.
Locked-out lepers with haloes come.
Put out the clock; the clock is dumb.
This is, in a way, just a prelude, a warning. A loving parody of the chaos that will ride in the dark nights to come. The Mari is not a tradition of Asgard, but Loki understand the message and the story she tells on a level so deep they may as well be part of his bones. For this one moment in the year, the outcast emerge to claim their own. The lords of misrule oust the righteous, the safe, the comfortable, and take their place for a breath of time. Memento Mori.
In the evening, the children are all bathed and fed and cuddled. Stories are told by the fire as dusk deepens. At length, though, the time for Something Else draws nigh. Loki tucks a sprig of mistletoe behind the ear of each of his little girls, and takes them by the hands. Una is old enough this year.
Transforming as they leave the house for the meadow, Loki stands ghostly-still in a white dress, evergreens wound into her hair. For about half an hour, she sings short kulning calls and cries for the girls, letting them imitate and praising their efforts. Sigrid is very good. Una is excited and eager, but her attention span is more limited, and when she shows signs of wanting to go play in the snow, Loki calls the lesson closed for today. She herself sings the ghostly call that invites the Hunt to her side. And then she kisses the girls on the cheek and sends them inside to sleep.
This is about to be no place for children.
As before, Loki cannot allow herself emotion for this event, in which anyone caught outside is at risk of an unfortunate experience. She casts the same spell as before, with some regret. She will recognize no one except Thor, and whatever actions she takes for the sacredness of the season will be utterly impartial.
When the Odensjakt emerges, there's a crack and roar of air displaced, the skies split to permit thousands of shadowy steeds and riders to emerge. Skurge is at their head, and Loki notes with interest that he's not wearing his plate armor this year, only his leather jerkin and a loose cape. Maybe he no longer feels the need of that visual reminder of his status. He's not an ex-soldier or a failed executioner now, but the shepherd of the dead.
"Will you lead this year?" Loki invites him, leaping lightly onto the back of a spectral, red-eyed horse. "Or shall I?"
He looks deeply flattered, and maybe a little tempted, but he shakes his head. "You lead. I'll bring up the rear and keep the formation together."
It would do no good to say so, but Loki is proud.
Skurge takes his place at the back of the Hunt, and gives a sharp, shrill whistle. Then the onslaught begins, the loud chaotic ride through the darkness. They will enter unguarded buildings and turn things upside down like vandals. They will damage and break things left outside in the roads. Unlucky wanderers (or perhaps, some who seek them out deliberately) will be grabbed by icy hands and tumbled through the night with the wild ride.
They circle the Plaza, turning things upside down, and then they ride out into the Wilds like a storm, screaming into the wind from the sheer joy and adrenaline rush of the Hunt.
When the sky turns watery gray overhead, when the sun creeps toward the horizon, they quiet slowly and break apart like clouds. Skurge stays to the last, sitting up on his horse as Loki stands in the snow beside him, Jotun-shaped, all blue and red and white frost.
"I don't think this is exactly how Odin did it," Loki comments quietly as the sun glints off distant tree-tips. "But it feels right. What do you think?"
"Didn't really know him," Skurge says thoughtfully. "But I'm good with this."
"Until tomorrow night, then," Loki smiles up at him.
"Wouldn't miss it," Skurge gives a cheeky grin, and dissolves into the air, back to Hel.
Loki bows, and sings him a brief farewell, only a few high, crystalline calls. And then he turns toward home, and family, and the warmth of his own hearth.
----
((OOC: So, I am bad at keeping up with things, but this is important, so: same deal as last year.
Please feel free to tag in with your character(s) reaction to any of the above. They can encounter the children, they could hear the sounds of the Hunt, or for a more lol-like experience, they could join or be caught up in the Hunt themselves.
Two things should be noted. First: Loki will not recognize any character except Thor, potentially not even his own alternates. He did that on purpose so his fondness for certain individuals cannot get in the way of what he considers a sacred duty. If you get close to the Hunt, even if you’re on good terms with him and don’t wanna go, you’re coming along. Feel free to yell at him later. He may or may not be remorseful, but probably not.
Second: People who either join the Hunt voluntarily or gain control after being snatched up are essentially invited to participate. Feel free to smash some stuff up, steal food or drink in small amounts, etc. Please assume all vandalized stuff belongs to NPCs not other player characters, unless you have that player's permission! The Hunt’s purpose is not to kill or maim, but to frighten and disrupt. Anyone who gets too personal or otherwise overly enthusiastic risks falling out of synch with the rest of the Hunt. If that happens, the character may be yeeted out of the group and find themselves in a corner of the Plaza or Wilds they didn’t start out in.
For each tag-in, I will respond with at least one prose-heavy tag (maybe more, depending on time or inspiration) detailing what the character is likely to have seen, felt, or experienced in the Hunt or during the visit with the hooden horse. It is also okay with me to handwave that your character observed/got caught up in this, as long as rules of the Nexus comm are respected.
Additionally, if you want some crazy shit that is not Nexus canon, PM me and we can talk it out. I can't promise anything because I'm constantly behind on all my threads these days, but I'm willing to talk it over!))
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-29 12:35 am (UTC)Harley shakes her head at the offer of a gift. "You do you. If your oath was made to him. Keep it for him."
"What did he tell you of me?" She tilts her head. There is always a part of her that wonders what Loki tells people about her.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-30 01:15 am (UTC)In any case, a shrouded figure has emerged from the back room of the cottage, glittering with ribbons and jingling, and Loki's legs can't be seen beneath it just now, but it pretty much has to be him beneath it. The children are still putting on shoes and socks, with the help of Mrs. Hedgeworthy.
Jingle, jingle-snap! The Mari does a sly little dance and bows in greeting to each of them, then pauses uncertainly. Half in the role and half in his own head, Loki clears his throat, then speaks while puppeting the horse's jaw to the cadence of his own words. "God Jul! I...was going to introduce you but it looks as though I missed my window. Herla, you look lovely."
Not that Megatron doesn't; he's very shiny, but Harley loves to dress up in colorful clothing, and Loki loves to see her do it.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-30 09:32 pm (UTC)She has never seen Loki shy before. It is endearing.
"Thank you, love. Alex helped me prepare the outfit."
meg. meg you talk too much.
Date: 2021-01-30 08:47 pm (UTC)It sounds like a load of slag and on some level Megatron even knows that, but he is actually quite serious.
"Una has a lot to say about you, too. I am told that the pink glitter is yours and yours alone, and I assured her that I prefer purple." He laughes, a little nervous yet. "I also have a sense of you, through our sharing, just as he has a sense of Ravage, and Soundwave. Although I am no longer their lover, I will always be very close to them. And I liked what I saw of you through his eyes, but I will endeavour to remember that his opinion is not completely impartial and to take care to form one of my own."
He ex-vents softly. "I am glad you take no offence. I told him when I asked to court him that I hoped for a place in his family and his life, because I knew I was already beginning to fall for him. But we did not intend for things to happen so quickly that neither you nor Ian had a chance to have your say."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-30 09:42 pm (UTC)Love is not something easy. That one should feel just after hearing a few sweet words. And it makes her more aware of Meg's emotional balance.
She flinches slightly when he speaks about have a sense of her. And has to speak about that.
"You might not know this... but when I was caged in Arkham, I had guards and more dangerous criminals watching me. All the time. I had a nano bomb in my head, so someone could keep tabs on me."
"I do not like feeling watched. And I do not welcome it."
"I am not going to interfere with your bond with Loki... but you are going to have to build a strong sense of trust with me, before I even want to think about you sensing me."
"Listen Megatron." Harley turns to him. "You are courting Loki. And it really doesn't matter if Ian nor I had a chance to say something about it. Your relationship with Loki is between the two of you."
"Just like how I respect the relationship between Ian and Loki as being something between them. I don't have a romantic relationship with Ian. Nor do I plan to."
"I only want to be with Loki these days. And I will accept others who make him happy, because it is his happiness that matters."
"I really hope you don't think you have to build something with me. When at the most we are just going to be friends."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-30 10:37 pm (UTC)Megatron ex-vents. "Nor am I trying to seduce you. While I do think you're attractive, that's not the same thing as thinking we're going to be 'more than friends'. I am flirtatious by nature. I mean what I say, but I mean nothing more than I say. I will try to be blunter and less poetic if that will make you more comfortable, but I will have to work at it, because that is not the way I normally treat the people I actually like."
He shrugs. "I'm also an alien, and my idea of what is normal and expected is going to be different from yours. If you look at me through the lens of human psychology, you're going to see things that aren't there, because as damaged as I am, I'm not made of flesh. I do have expectations that we owe one another a certain amount of respect and should treat one another as allies, whether or not we find that we like one another in the end, because there is not just one person who is deeply important to both of us; there are five, and four of them are much more vulnerable."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-30 10:55 pm (UTC)"Most cases, with a person you just met, flirting and being poetic are seductive. Yet you said that you are not trying to seduce me."
"But you also say that you like me. When we just met. I think that you are liking a perception of me... that you got off Loki, who cares very much about me. It ain't the real me."
"This is the real me."
"And trust me, my normal is not the same as anyone else. I don't believe in defining anything as normal."
"Er…. okay. Guess you didn't know that I consider my degree in psychology to be one of my assets. Sort of unfortunate that you don't think it would be of any use here."
"I respect your bond with Loki. But we have different expectations."
"But for me, there is a different bond that has to be built before I consider someone an ally."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-30 11:54 pm (UTC)He scowls a little, then schools his face. "This is how I behave when I am trying to make friends, and be diplomatic, and no, it doesn't have much to do at all with seducing people. When I'm blunt, and not diplonmatic, I am appalling."
He glances away.
"I try not to be appalling around strangers and children. I have already figured out that the mental image I have of you based on Loki's perceptions is inaccurate. One of the important missing bits is that you seem to see relationships with individuals as absolutely separate from one another, even when the people themselves are deeply enmeshed. I understand that now, and that's the thing you're picking up on that I don't like. When you treat all your relationships as singular and independent, it's possible to do a lot of collateral damage; I've hurt people that way, and I won't do it again. It is important to me to try and be gracious to you; I understand that I'm doing it all wrong, but I'll try to figure it out."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:06 am (UTC)Harley takes a long breath. Megatron is obviously deeply enmeshed with Loki. And she is trying her best not to feel like he is being judgemental about the way she lives her life, and develops her relationships.
"I will say it again. I respect your bond with Loki."
"You do not have to be gracious to me. At all."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:26 am (UTC)Harley has made sure that there was enough distance from the door, so that their conversation would not have upset the kids.
"It was unsettling to hear that you were able to sense me. Perhaps the way you meant was not clear when you said it. If you do not plan to do that again... that is fine with me."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 12:59 am (UTC)Megatron sighs.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 01:11 am (UTC)"You have nothing to worry about Megatron. I respect your relationship with Loki." Harley notes softly. "Besides, from what I understand... from what Loki told me... the bond between you and him is a strong one. One that would be disastrous if someone was to try to separate you two."
"I could not hurt him that way."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 02:16 am (UTC)He shrugs."I'm practical, and I don't need a personal bond with you to know that we need to be on the same side--which is his, and theirs. Because that would be best for us all."
Then he looks away. "I am afraid of being judged by you, too, you know. I believe that you respect me. But we made a commitment that is very deep while running on instinct. Most lovers would be annoyed by the inconvenience. To separate us would be very hurtful to both of us. I know you are not that cruel...but I wouldn't blame you if you were annoyed, and I wanted you to know that."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 10:27 pm (UTC)This is his fault for dragging his feet and then putting them on the spot like this, with the children in the next room. He, with his outside perspective and closeness to them both, can understand each point of view, but if he tries to play conflict mediator, he's certain he'll only muck things up further.
He takes a breath, then emerges from the Mari and leans the puppet against the wall. "This...was not the ideal venue for this meeting. I am...truly sorry. I should have arranged something quieter, without the backdrop of the children and seasonal duty."
"Megatron, elskan, you're intense and effusive, and you wish to throw all of yourself into this, and I love that. But Harley, as warm-hearted as she is, needs space and patience. I feel I have erred in giving her too much of that, but too little of it is certainly just as bad."
"You may yet become friends or allies, and I will do everything I can to assist with that, within the boundaries you both choose to set, for myself and for one another. But it doesn't have to happen tonight, or ever, and if it does not, I will love the both of you no less. Nor will the children, I am certain, though they are still getting to know Megatron and Harley has been part of their lives since they arrived in the Nexus."
"I don't think anyone is truly angry with anyone right now. We have misunderstandings and ruffled feathers, and I am far better at obfuscating these things than helping to clarify them, and so it's best that I stop talking as soon as possible. But perhaps if we all focus on the children, and meaning of the celebration, common ground will emerge. And if not, we'll at least have fun scaring people together."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 11:02 pm (UTC)It does not help her emotional state to be reminded that right now they are not the ideal venue. And the last thing she wants to do is upset the children.
And it is frustrating to feel that she can not express herself further...
"I am going to need a moment before I go inside to see the children." She refuses to fake a smile in front of the children.
"Go ahead. I am sure they are waiting to see you." She tells Megatron.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-01-31 11:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 01:02 am (UTC)No, that would not have been a good idea. In any case, he's either overthinking now or reaping the rather bitter, salty fruit of having done this too recklessly.
"Do you want me to go and give you space as well, Kjaereste," he asks Harley softly. "Or do you want to talk to me?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 01:31 am (UTC)She steps forward to take his hands in her hers. And tilts her head.
"I might be reading this all wrong. But I feel like he expected me to react differently. Like I hated him. Or something. It feels weird."
"It put me on edge. Like something was expected of me."
"I don't know what else I can do or say right now. It is like no one believes me... when I have said that I respect the relationship between you two."
"Why can't I just be respectful of the bond that you two share -- and just want to take my time to get to know him. And build something. I got nothing to go off here." Harley takes a sharp breath. "I know I make friends pretty easy... but you have to admit this is a really weird encounter even for me. And it is like I am being expected to build something out of nothing."
Harley tears up. "I am never going to have a strong intense kind of bond that he has with you. I am just human. I can't do that."
"And because to me, that sort of bond must be something powerful and special... it sucks, because I have this..." She pauses, looking for the right words. "Insecurity in my head, telling me that I ain't ever going to be enough. And I am trying really hard to not listen to it."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 04:50 pm (UTC)At the same time, he's immensely grateful she's willing to talk to him now. That gives him a chance. When she takes his hands, he bends his head to kiss the backs of her fingers lightly, once for the left and once for the right.
"I believe he's afraid," he explains. "He had a prior polyamorous relationship that went badly...of the three others, one turned on his entire organization, and the second has at one point ordered the third to kill him. I think he was trying to...prompt a more detailed discussion of your feelings. In part because he's afraid of a repeat of his past mistakes and in part because it's evidently their culture to express their emotions fully when they arise."
"So, he is frustrated and afraid of what you might not be saying. I will talk to him, as well. He's a different kind of life form--they say 'synthetic' but I'm not sure how apt that is--and I think he processes events and emotions more quickly than you or I. I'll explain to him that you need space and time and freedom, as I have for my own sake. Granted, I haven't been great at setting my boundaries with him, so perhaps that's going to be a lengthy discussion, but--nevermind. That isn't your problem. You are not required to like the people I like just because I like them. If you're willing to take time and give him a chance, that's more than reasonable."
And this sounds good to him, as far as conversation goes. Maybe he can smooth things over still...it was still a mistake on his part but salvageable with time--
And then she tears up and his heart goes crashing down to his toes. There is nothing in the world worse, he thinks, than making a lover cry (in a bad way). Except perhaps making a child cry. He reaches out and pulls her closer reflexively in as tight a hug as he's ever given her (so much for his musings about her needing space, but he's also shit at guessing what she actually needs, apparently, so maybe this is okay?).
"Oh, my love...oh, Kjaereste. Never think of yourself as just human. My dearest friends in the past centuries have been human. Their names are written on my heart, but yours is etched right into my soul. Everything I have built of comfort and kindness in this place--none of it would have come about if not for your welcome, and the example you set me. I don't think I would even be so close to Thor at this point if you hadn't lit the way for me to try. I certainly would not be able to love Megatron, or Ian, or the children the way I do."
"You are my inspiration, Harley. The muse that makes me want to take my darkness and spin it into light, the way you take your hurts and madness and hammer them into a sword and shield to protect and avenge those like you. You are everything I want to be, as a person and as a god, to defend and care for those who have no one else to care for them."
"You are more than enough. I know a lie, and that voice in your head is lying. I belong to you, and with you, and I love you."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-02-01 05:18 pm (UTC)"Maybe it is because I have been blessed to have had such a supportive polyamourous relationship with Red. That I am able to feel the way I do. To support you both."
"Knowing that he has been hurt before... makes me understand why he seems to not believe me. And I guess I just need to give him time too... huh. To understand that I am not lying to him."
"I appreciate you saying that I am not required to like him. I really do." It helps her settle her mind. Loki is not Joker. Loki is not asking her to pretend and be some sort of plaything that smiles fake-like and likes all the people that he likes. Loki only wants Harley to be real to herself.
And when he hugs her, Harley leans her head on his forehead. And hugs him tightly. It is true that she has not been good with telling him what she needs. And she is slowly trying to be better at communicating.
"I just missed you so much. I don't need space from you right now. I just want to be by your side. And the fact that someday... because I am human... I will have to leave you makes me want to make the most of what we have. In the now."
"I am honored to be your inspiration. It helps... to know that you see me that way." Harley kisses his temple lightly.
"I have to stop thinking selfish thoughts... about wanting others to see me in the same light. It shouldn't matter what anyone one else thinks or says."
"You consider me more than enough." Harley relaxes slightly in his arms. "And I belong to you. You are more than enough for me. That is why I feel like I don't want to be with anyone else."
"You are my real true love, Loki. I will never feel the way I do for anyone else. Only you have this place in my heart. Only you do I feel safe and secure in saying I love you. Only you do I know is my future."
"It is because of you... I know when that voice is lying to me. When it is trying to bring me down. Or break me."
"I would not be the woman I am without you in my life. I would have never broken free of Joker. I would have never started to attend the Sisterhood Survivor Group. And I would have never.... stopped to think out my actions, before resorting to violence."
"I am just afraid of losing you. When you have carved so much of yourself into my heart and soul. I couldn't bear it."
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Date: 2021-02-01 08:55 pm (UTC)"It would be less stressful for me if you two can be on civil terms," he says wryly. "But beyond that, the choice is yours and his. I genuinely did think you'd like him, and vice versa, but I'm not infallible."
He shivers. "I admit, I don't like the thought that our time together is limited. It's a blessing that you're so strong, and I dare to hope you will age more slowly than the average human. I will love you no less as you grow older, by the way."
But he expects that to be a point of contention if she does age like a human. It's only normal to observe changes in yourself and none in your lover and feel disconnected. But they will cross that bridge when they come to it. "For a long time," he says, "I have been thinking of you as a constant in my life, a partner that will be with me for decades to come. It's an inexpressible honor for a mortal lover to pledge their lifetime to an immortal one--or one as long-lived as the Aesir tend to be. We could be giving one another the same number of years, but for you it would be everything. I do not take that lightly. I never have, but with you I have the chance to be with you for all those years. It's a momentous thing."
He realizes he's rambling a little and quiets to listen to her. He has to clear his throat and scrub away some mist over his eyes with one sleeve. "It's hard for me to see myself as a good influence in someone's life, but I believe you. And I'm grateful."
He nuzzles and kisses her cheek and takes a breath, tilting his head so he can look into her eyes. "Hellequin...you will never lose me. We've been dancing around committment, I think. Myself more than you, perhaps, but we're both a bit gun-shy. I tell myself my reasoning is unselfish but I'm also afraid of hurt. Courage is not my forte."
"You remember our talks about making you into a true Valkyrie? I hesitated, the more I thought about it, because the way I conceived of it at first would mean writing myself, my power and divinity, into you, body and soul, in a way that Odin did not do with his Valkyrior, since they were Aesir from the start. And that feels like too close a parallel for what the...for what has been done to you in the past." In an emotionally volatile state already, it's best he doesn't reference the Joker out loud.
"But of late I've offered to teach magic to others, human and not. Ben Solo, for example, would be able to make use of runes. And the children are learning, as well. I am wondering if...there is a better way. Pouring my power into you as if you were an empty vessel can't be right. You're not empty; you're full, and I need you to be you, with complete freedom and no restraints on your decisions."
"I don't think I can duplicate the spark-bond, because for one thing I don't fully understand it myself, but I do understand magic. I am certain I can create an amulet to let you draw on my power at will, and with practice, maybe more than that. I can walk in human dreams and human minds; I can let you into my mind, as well."
"We would have to build our own bridges to join together so closely, and with great care. But I think it's possible, if you want it. A-and you don't have to decide on that now. Just keep it in mind. Either way, you are my Kjaereste, forever."
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From:Megatron goes in to talk to the kids <3
Date: 2021-02-01 08:10 am (UTC)He is also aware that the position they have put Harley in, however unintentionally, is still rotten; she has the moral right to annoy the slag out of him, no matter how uncomfortable he finds it. For now. He hopes she understands there are limits to his patience, because the person he would like to be is still a better person than the person that he actually is.
Therefore, he sets a reminder for himself to return to the data of dubious quality that he has just been given and think it all over in private, then terminates a number of glitching processes spiralling through his emotional subsystems with extreme prejudice (which in itself provides him with a certain satisfaction).
Once he's able to smile at the children and mean it, he sits down on the floor with them. "I've missed you," he says, and sets the flowers on the table. "And I have presents for you, this time."
Hello, he gestures to Agnarr. How bad am I at this?
He can't get servo memory out of saving old videos to his memory banks, and the first few times he attempted it he actually taught himself to do it backwards, until he realised the mirror he was using was a screen and flipped the image. At the moment, Eindrid's vocabulary is probably still far superior to his, and that's probably very evident.
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Date: 2021-02-05 01:58 pm (UTC)Well...Agnarr and Sigrid do, at least. The younger two are willing to take a smile at face value, especially if it comes with presents! Sigrid gives Megatron a thorough looking-over, as if somehow he might physically give a clue what's going on, but when none appears, she just gives him a reassuring smile and goes back to wrestling with Eindrid's shoes, after a chirped greeting.
Mrs. Hedgeworthy is working on Una's hair, else she'd be climbing up his back the second he sits, but she's restricted to waving in greeting.
Agnarr looks slightly skeptical, but not at the sign language. He watches the attempt and softens, Not bad. You'll have to go slow. But it's more important for you to understand it. I can hear, I just can't talk.
"You didn't have to bring presents!" Sigrid adds, tying off a shoelace. "But we have a thing for you. Una wants to give it to you so you have to wait until her braids are done."
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Date: 2021-02-06 10:22 am (UTC)Megatron wishes that Agnarr and Sigrid hadn't picked up on the disagreement, but it doesn't completely surprise him. The children may not be able to read EM fields, but they have excellent intuition and Loki has done nothing to discourage them to doubt it. He doesn't want to involve them in adult disagreements or problems. But he doesn't like to be dishonest with people he'd like to consider family and friends, even if they are all still sparklings.
"A time may come when the ability to communicate with you all in a manner that people can't overhear will be useful," he tells them, and signs inexpertly, while Eindrid is looking down at the floor and Una is still getting her hair done: It will be all right. Problem with words, not with people.
"I love your father. And I want to be Harley's friend. Just like I want to be your friend. Anyhow. We can exchange gifts when Una's braids are all done."
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